"As a parent I felt I should know everything," said Michelle describing the difficulties she faced after her violent marriage broke up and she was left to raise her five young children alone.

"I was struggling with who I was as a parent. I felt totally out of control as a parent. When my husband left, my son Luke was very angry. Luke always tried to get his Dad's love and after the break-up Luke's behaviour moved between anger, guilt, violence and being totally erratic."

Michelle decided to go to a welfare agency four years ago for help and the Domestic Violence Kids Can Program. The Kids Can Program began four years ago for children aged 8-12 years who have experienced domestic violence. The eight-week program brings a small group of children together each week to have fun and aims to reduce the impact of living with domestic violence.

"The change in Luke was immediate," said Michelle. "He started to speak about his feelings, showed his anger in safe ways, was more confident, more calm, shared and played with his younger siblings and started to take responsibility for his actions."

The benefit of Luke attending Kids Can impacted dramatically on Michelle's life and her understanding of her role and limitations as a parent.

"I felt much calmer because of the changes in him, it made me feel more confident as a parent, he would cuddle me instead of blaming me. Since I have been involved with this program I have been able to really listen to my children, something I owe them big time."

Today Michelle is more positive about her role as a parent, "I have learnt it is okay to make mistakes, you're not invincible."

Michelle's experience demonstrates how important it is for services to be available for children and young people. Effectively assisting children and young people can not only help them but also the rest of the family.